Occam's Hellraiser
by Le soleil brille pas pour toi
Summary: Set during Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery. The third-years have their first Care of Magical Creatures lesson, and Merula is... well... Merula. [Written for the QLFC, season 6, round 2] [Nominated for Judges' Pick!]


Author's note

Written for Season 6 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition

Round 2: Jurassic Fever

Team: Pride of Portree

Position: Chaser 2

Prompt: Write about a character whose deceit or intent to harm ends positively for the recipient(s)

Optional prompts:

3\. (dialogue) 'Is he wearing a wig?' / 'I believe the correct term is "toupee."'  
11\. (spell) Levicorpus  
14\. (character) Charlie Weasley

Word count (excluding author's note): 1,339

Beta: crochetaway

* * *

This story uses characters from the recently released mobile app 'Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery.' You don't need to know anything about its plot to follow this story, nor are there any spoilers here. For those who haven't played, I'll include the briefest of brief character intros here before starting the story:

\- The game's main character, known in canon as 'Jacob's sibling,' is a clever, brave, and naturally talented child from a wizarding background. Their name, gender, appearance, and house are chosen by the player. For the purposes of this story, she will be a Gryffindor named Mallory Everett.

\- Rowan Khanna is the main character's best friend, and their gender and house match those of the main character's, so here she'll be a Gryffindor. She comes from a wizarding family and her personality is friendly, nerdy, studious, and awkward.

\- Ben Copper is a Muggleborn Gryffindor who is afraid of literally everything and thinks he doesn't belong at Hogwarts, let alone in Gryffindor.

\- Merula Snyde is a mean, blood-purist Slytherin. Her parents are in Azkaban for supporting Voldemort in the First Wizarding War.

\- Barnaby Lee and Ismelda are in Slytherin, and are Merula's friends (or, perhaps more accurately, henchpeople).

All of these students began at Hogwarts the same year that Charlie Weasley did.

* * *

 **Occam's Hellraiser**

Merula scowled at the troupe of Gryffindors ahead of her, bounding across the grounds towards Care of Magical Creatures. _Where do they get so much energy this early in the morning?_

She was not particularly interested in this class, and was still upset about having been forced to choose it as one of her electives. When she'd shown her grandmother the list of options that had arrived in her Hogwarts letter, the matriarch had scanned it lazily for a moment before barking, 'Runes and Creatures.'

Merula's mouth had set in a hard line, biting back the angry retort she'd wanted to loose. 'Those are excellent choices, grandmother, but I had been hoping to take Divination as well. We're allowed to have three elec—'

'You heard me, child. Go prepare for dinner.'

Merula had nodded tightly and turned to retreat without a word. Her grandmother probably didn't even have a reason for the courses she'd picked; she just liked having someone to exert control over.

Rowan Khanna's voice floated back to her, pulling her from her memory. She was prattling to her friend Mallory Everett about Bowtruckles, of all things. '…At my family's wandwood farm, they're all over the place, and we have to be careful of them while harvesting wood. I hope we discuss them in class; I think I might know more about them than even the teacher!'

'Can't Khanna give it a rest already? No one cares about those stupid twigs,' Merula commented loudly to Barnaby and Ismelda, and was gratified to see Rowan and Mallory tense up and increase their speed.

Barnaby piped up, confused. 'You mean wands? I thought those were important.'

When Merula and her lackies made it to the designated class area, most of the students seemed shocked to find an old and heavily-scarred wizard tottering about unsteadily on two peg-legs. His one remaining arm held fast to a gnarled walking stick, giving him an extra point of purchase with the ground. He was, altogether, a bizarre sight to behold. A certain pair of Gryffindors, however, seemed more amused than anything.

'Bill warned me about the missing limbs, but not the _hair_!' Charlie Weasley snickered.

'Is he wearing a wig?' his friend asked incredulously.

'I believe the correct term is "toupee,"' Rowan offered helpfully.

Before long, the wizard finished tending to one of several small crates lain in the grass and made his painstaking way over to where the class was gathered. The students quieted quickly, anxious to gain a first impression of their new professor. Despite his feeble appearance, he spoke in a strong voice. 'Good morning, third-years, and welcome to Care of Magical Creatures. My name is Professor Kettleburn. This class will focus on practical skills, and so for the majority of days, we shall assemble in this spot.'

He beckoned the class to the nearest crate and, with as much flourish as one can impart with a peg-leg, kicked it open. Inside was a slithering mass of tiny, winged snakes, gathered atop a pile of fragmented silver eggshells.

Ben Copper let out an unearthly shriek. 'What are those—those—horrid little dinosaurs?!'

Several members of the class turned to look at him curiously. 'What are… er… die-no-sores? Sounds dangerous,' Charlie said eagerly.

Ben blinked at him, his fear momentarily forgotten. 'Do you mean to tell me that wizards don't know what dinosaurs are?'

'Guess not!' Charlie grinned. 'But if they're anything like these little beasts, they must be cool!'

Kettleburn cleared his throat and the class quieted down again. 'For your first lesson, I wanted to show you a creature that will demonstrate at once the dangers and splendours of the world of magical creatures. Of course, my first choice for doing so would have been a Quintaped, but they are rather difficult to capture, and I wasn't able to procure one in time this year. So, instead, we shall be studying Occamies.'

As Kettleburn began lecturing about the serpents, a certain other group of snakes hung near the back of the class.

'It's only the first class of the year and I already can't stand it,' Merula moaned. 'What on earth are we going to do with these boring worms?'

'I think they're cool,' said Ismelda, eyeing their glittering eggshells greedily.

'Well, I think you're an idiot,' Merula snapped, and made her way to stand with a different pack of Slytherins near the front.

'…And though they're naturally quite aggressive, we continue to breed Occamies in order to harvest their valuable silver eggshells,' Kettleburn finished. 'Collecting shells will be the focus of today's lesson. I would advise working in groups; most success will be had by causing a distraction and quietly removing the shells.'

Merula quickly attached herself to an already-formed pair of Slytherins and allowed them to begin the work as she surveyed her neighbours. Much to her displeasure, the nearest group comprised Rowan, Mallory, and Ben. The former two seemed to be trying to encourage the latter to approach their Occamies more closely than the eight-foot radius he was allowing.

'Come on Ben, they're only babies, look how tiny they are!'

'According to the textbook, their jaws can only exert about 100 pounds per square inch of force at this stage of their development!'

It was at this moment, when Mallory had inexplicably pulled a tray of sandwiches from her bag and was inviting Ben to sit and eat with her while she explained that he had nothing to fear, that Merula became fed up with their nauseating display of camaraderie and decided to butt in.

'Here, Copper, I can help you get closer! _Levicorpus_!'

Ben suddenly found himself suspended in midair by his ankle, and Merula gracefully maneuvered him directly above the Occamy nest. She glanced over her shoulder and grinned at her housemates who were looking on in mild amusement. 'A prefect taught me this one last week. Fun, isn't it?' She laughed as Mallory jumped, trying to reach her wailing friend, while the snapping Occamies kept her from getting too close.

Rowan, meanwhile, was studying the serpents intently. 'Hey, Mallory, look – they haven't even noticed Ben is above them. Perhaps their musculature doesn't allow them to look upwards!'

At once, Mallory ceased her attempts to reach her friend and addressed him excitedly. 'Ben! I have an idea! We'll distract them down here, and you see if you can reach the shells!'

Merula, still laughing at Ben's tortured cries, missed the exchange, and did not notice Mallory and Rowan moving to one side of the crate to lure the Occamies over with some long pieces of grass. It wasn't until Ben lunged and grabbed most of the eggshells in one fell swoop that she realised what was going on.

'Excellent!' came Kettleburn's voice from behind her. 'An outstanding display of creativity and courage, just as one would expect from the noble house of Gryffindor. Ten points!'

Merula balked at this unexpected turn of events and hurried to remove Ben from her capture. She let him fall unceremoniously to the ground, and his friends rushed over to make sure he was alright. It was too late, however, to escape Kettleburn's notice. 'Ah, an inter-house effort, is it? A rare sight between your houses. Just splendid – five points to Slytherin as well.'

Merula didn't bother to try to hide her scowl. Five house points were hardly enough to make up for the embarrassing misconception that their houses might ever get along. The dark looks she received from her housemates told her that they agreed.

On the trek back to the castle, Ben was surrounded by the other Gryffindors as they congratulated him on his success. 'Good job, mate!' Charlie told him. 'Now, about these dinosaur things…'

Mallory grinned cheekily at Merula as she and Rowan passed by. 'Thanks for the help, Merula. How about we partner up for the next class?'

After reaching the castle, Merula made a beeline for Snape's office. She was going to switch into Divination, whether her grandmother liked it or not.


End file.
